They shoot monkeys in Sparta

If you ask Donna Lee of Sparta who she'd call if a monkey was messing around in her yard, she'd tell you what she told me on the phone last night. "Smith & Wesson and a 5 cent bullet." According to an online posting Lee made on Monday, that's just what she did.

The website where she posted the message is called Local Sales Network, an online classifieds site Lee recently used to get rid of a couple of unused riding helmets and an unused Savarouski Crystal Cavasson.

Lee might have gotten what she was looking for on the first two items, but I didn't ask. When it came to the posting about shooting a monkey on her property, Lee got more than she bargained for.

"Five minutes after posting it I got nothing but a flood of phone calls and nasty grams, so I took the ad down," Lee said. The posting by Lee warned people to keep their pets constrained or they'll end up like the monkey she shot on her property Monday.

Before Donna Lee returned my call, I was trying to sort this all out by digging around on the internet. That's when I came across this cute monkey sucking its thumb. Mike Strianese took the picture at a car lot in Sparta. The more I looked at that monkey sucking its thumb, the more I wanted to call Strianese up and cry with him on the phone. So I did. I told him how I came across his monkey photo on Flickr, then paused as I got all choked up, and asked him if he was missing a monkey.

He said no. It wasn't his monkey. Strianese told me someone brought that monkey to the car lot with them and he thought it was cute, so he took the picture. OK, if that wasn't the monkey that was shot, at least we know there are monkeys in Sparta. Who knew? Look at its cute shirt.

Before hanging up with me, Lee made a strong case that the media ought to focus on what she says is the state's failure to regulate the exotic pet trade. She blamed exotic pet peddlers for taking advantage of people that don't know any better than to buy a monkey they can't control. Lee ended the call telling me had she not shot the monkey, her horses could have gotten spooked and caused all kinds of financial ruin. This, she said, is not a story and that the proper authorities were called.

She might be right. I'll update this post later when I know for sure.

UPDATE 9:44AM - John Ryan with the White County branch of the Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency told me this morning Lee wouldn't be in any trouble with them for shooting a monkey. As far as he knows, though, Lee didn't call them. Ryan says if Lee even called the Sheriff or the state office, as she claimed, he'd know.